10 years.....

It in no shape or form feels like it has been 10 years ago.

I still remember the entire moments. It is etched forever in my mind.

It was like it wasnt real. Like he was just asleep and would be waking up any minute.

My testimony during the days and weeks...and on surrounding my Dad's death is something I hold on to and cherish as I still remember feeling God's hand and love during all that time after I found out he was killed.

Having that last Mexican dinner where he drove to Birmingham on a random Wednesday is something that just blows my mind. Its like God knew that I needed one last hug from him. That I needed to say goodbye to him face to face because the very next day.....he was gone.

The day he died, today, 10 years ago. I finished reading this book. I closed the last chapter. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was sitting at work and I felt this feeling like I just can not explain come over me. A feeling of loss. Of sadness but of also, comfort. It's like I knew and felt the exact minute that he stop breathing. Reading this book just totally blew my mind as well as it is about a woman who her husband was hit by someone as he was riding his bicycle and was killed {Essentially the same manner as my Dad}  and how she overcame the grief and how she struggled but lived and was strong but had her weak moments but pushed through and most importantly........how she forgave and didnt linger on with hatred of the person who killed her husband. It was a great book. I felt for her. I found strength from her.

And then...

it was like it happened to me.

And I finished the book the day he passed.

Though I can not believe it has been 10 years, I am not sad that he is gone.

I miss him everyday. As I see the girls do something or perform, etc, I know that he would have loved to be down here supporting and loving them.

But he is in such a better place and I am thankful that he is because OH to be down here on Earth these days....

He is the blessed one!

He is smiling down on me and my little family and he is watching. He is there. He knows my girls. He loves them. He helps protect them.

And one day, he will get to see Alexis.......and meet Lily.

I find comfort in all of that.

So....

10 years.

10 years he is gone. I miss you and love you, Dad but thankful I have a pretty awesome guardian Angel!